“Gemini Man” Trailer!

The innovative mind of Ang Lee brings us an original sci-fi action thriller, the premise of which has literally been done by hundreds, if not thousands, of previous sci-fi action thrillers – that’s right, clones. So unique. But, you see, this time it’s Will Smith getting cloned, so there you have it: completely original story.

Granted, Gemini Man has been in development since 1997, so it can hardly be blamed if many other stories have come and gone before it reaches the big screen in October. And it does star Will Smith, which is a draw: in fact, it stars Will Smith in two roles – as the aging assassin Henry Brogen, and the de-aged clone of himself that is hunting him. De-aging techniques have come so far, they’re incredible. The question of why Brogen has been cloned, and how, is presumably one of the film’s plot points, but let’s just say the vague explanation given in the trailer is insufferably bad:

“You made a person out of another person,” the clone says with disbelief. “Then you sent me to kill him.”

And, of course, it features all the typical elements of generic spy films: Random Exploding Car? Check. Government Organization With Something To Hide? Check. Glowing Metallic Title Font? Check.

Maybe there’s a decent movie behind all the incredibly overdone action-thriller tropes that this trailer has put forward, but I’m firmly convinced that Gemini Man is relying way too heavily on the fact that it’s got Will Smith starring in not one, but two lead roles. Action-thrillers have become more and more boringly unoriginal as more and more studios try to unseat the Mission: Impossible films – and I’m predicting that Gemini Man, like its premise, will be just another clone.

Trailer Rating: 5/10

“Godzilla: King Of The Monsters” Final Trailer!

While I’m aware of the fact that there is an extensive mythos surrounding the “MonsterVerse”, as Warner Brothers likes to call it, I myself am not very well-versed in the lore. Thankfully, then, this trailer does a very good job of reaching out to people – such as me – who don’t really know much about creatures like Ghidorah, Rodan or Mothra (well, actually, I know a little bit about Mothra). These monsters might seem outdated and even silly to some, but this movie is clearly doing its best to sell them to mainstream audiences, and – in my opinion – they’ve succeeded with this latest trailer.

So the general premise is that these monsters – or Titans – are waking from slumber to threaten the earth, and the only way to stop them and their three-headed dragon leader Ghidorah is to team up with one of the other Titans: Godzilla himself. Sounds pretty interesting already, right? It gets better when you throw in all the other great monsters – especially, in my opinion, Mothra, who looks incredible, particularly in one shot of the trailer, at 0:13, as her wings unfold across the sky in a dazzling, neon blue display. Rodan is, to me, the least interesting of the group – though he certainly has an impressive wingspan, best demonstrated at 0:19 as he rises from a volcano. The monsters look epic and terrifying, but also somewhat beautiful, in a weird way – which is a more effective approach than previous iterations of the creatures.

Their beauty is not lost on the human characters in the film, especially fourteen-year-old Madison Russell, played by Millie Bobby Brown: Russell has a connection to Mothra, as we can see when she and her mother are face-to-face with the enormous monster. Personally, I would be a bit more terrified if I were that close to something that big, but Brown does a good job of conveying naive wonder and excitement at the sight.

However, the monsters aren’t here just to look impressive: they’re “hunting”, apparently. We’re treated to glimpses of the destruction that they cause across the world: Rodan’s wings leveling a city within a few seconds; storms and volcanic eruptions; and, in one of my favorite shots, Ghidorah rising behind the silhouette of a cross, wings outstretched in full Satanic glory, like an Antichrist come to destroy the planet and all of human civilization. The music in this trailer could so easily be loud and brash, designed to make us bloodthirsty, to fill our ears with calamitous noises and discord – but, in a genius move, all of these scenes of devastation play out to the tune of “Over The Rainbow”.

Of course, it wouldn’t be much of a monster movie without calamity and discord – there’s plenty of that. Once Godzilla shows up, things go crazy: you’ve got your puny humans going up against the majesty of monsters – jet-fighters, bombs, and even lightly-armed soldiers doing their best to join in the fight. The big fight between Godzilla and Ghidorah will obviously be the crown jewel of this movie’s action sequences, but the fight scenes with Mothra and Rodan look to be pretty monumental as well, even if they are entirely CGI.

In a clever play on a Lord of the Rings quote, the movie’s slogan is “One King To Rule Them All”. Personally, I’m not so sure about that: Ghidorah looks to be a huge and terrifying enemy, and even if Godzilla does win the fight, will there be anything left of the earth to rule? Does that even matter in a monster movie like this? Probably not, considering that the trailer shows us cities being wiped out in a few moments. And Godzilla, despite apparently being on our side, isn’t too worried about crushing a few skyscrapers as he charges towards Ghidorah at high speeds.

Well, whether or not the movie turns out to be just a hollow action movie with impressive special effects, their trailer certainly won me over.

Trailer Rating: 9/10

“Dark Phoenix” Final Trailer!

So…this is it. Presumably we’ll get some TV spots before the film comes out in June, but this is apparently the last full trailer. And unfortunately it has basically nothing new to say, nothing new to display, nothing new that audiences will pay to see. This trailer is pretty much identical to the last one, and that’s fine – it’s just not…great.

To be fair, though, there is some good stuff to dig our teeth into, even though it’s really not a lot. Sophie Turner as Jean Grey is pretty much the best thing we’ve seen so far; though, to be fair, she’s so good she kind of makes up for everything else. Of all the Game of Thrones actors, she is the one with the most promising future, in my opinion. Her showdown with Michael Fassbender’s Magneto looks to be epic stuff. Jessica Chastain still looks creepy.

And then…there’s all the rest, which I’ve discussed in my previous trailer review. Some new footage, mostly in space, and just a few glimpses of more action sequences and People Talking To Each Other About Jean™, plus a shot of Charles Xavier being engulfed by the Dark Phoenix. It still looks decent, but this is a final trailer: it should be a game-changer. It should have some stinger that hooks us, some big reveal or some really incredible shots that we haven’t seen before. It has none of those. It’s also kind of weird that this is the final trailer for a movie that comes out in June – is something wrong with the marketing for this film? Do I even need to ask?

Whatever. I just hope these trailers are misleading, and the final product is really good. My expectations are pretty much in the exact same place they were before.

Trailer Rating: 4/10

Star Wars Episode IX Teaser Trailer!

This is going to be something of an unusual review. I will admit why right up front.

The truth is, I haven’t watched the last few Star Wars movies. The original trilogy? The prequels? I’ve watched those, multiple times. But this new saga had never appealed to me until now, when, suddenly, I find myself standing dazed and confused wondering what on earth, or what on Tattooine, this trailer means. And that is very unfortunate, because this trailer looks pretty awesome, even though a good bit of its symbolism is probably lost on me.

We’ll discuss the big stuff first though, just because this is the stuff I do understand pretty much entirely. SPOILERS AHEAD, for those of you, who, like me, had never watched the last two Star Wars movies.

1: The Title. The film’s long-anticipated title has been revealed to be Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker, which is very cool – “Every Generation Has A Legend” is the movie’s slogan. I am aware that Luke Skywalker is dead, and I have no clue whether this title is supposed to refer to him returning, or something like that. We hear Luke’s voice in the first part of the trailer, as he tells Rey about her inner power, and how a thousand generations live within her.

2: Princess Leia! The late great Carrie Fisher is in the movie, as expected, and gets a beautiful and heart-warming moment in the trailer, tearfully embracing Rey (Daisy Ridley). Having not watched Star Wars: The Force Awakens or Star Wars: The Last Jedi, I can’t give any opinion on Rey herself, except that she looks like an incredible heroine: there’s a moment here, at the 1:08 mark, where she backflips onto a very fast moving spaceship that seems to be trying to mow her down. It’s a great shot.

3: THE EMPEROR IS BACK? I didn’t even realize what I was seeing, at the 1:39 mark, when we see Rey and her team looking out over a wide barren landscape, gazing towards some distant mass of broken metal: I probably should have realized immediately that this is the remains of the literal Death Star – and, at the very end of the trailer, we hear the ominous laughter of Emperor Palpatine: who I, at least, thought was dead. Was this common knowledge to people, that the Emperor is back? That the Death Star is still out there, somewhere in the universe? Though, to be fair, the Death Star looks pretty dead and lifeless at this point, but it looked only half-built in The Return of the Jedi and turned out to be fully functional, so I don’t trust that megalithic weapon, however broken it might look. There’s something really scary about the Death Star, honestly, that makes its appearance here really awe-inspiring.

Those are most of the big things, I think, that this trailer shows. One surprising reveal, at least for me, was the appearance of Billy Dee Williams reprising his role as Lando from the original trilogy. We see characters like Chewbacca and C-3P0 again, though, of course, there’s also appearances from the newer generation, such as Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), Poe (Oscar Isaac), and Finn (John Boyega). The backstories of these new characters are a total mystery to me, and I’m eager to fill this gap in my knowledge, because they all look pretty interesting. The droid BB-8, I could do without: I’ve seen this character pretty much everywhere for years now – like Olaf from Frozen, or Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, these “mascot” characters always become really annoying to me, really quickly.

The trailer looks really awesome, and there’s no way I’m gonna miss seeing this in theaters: this is the end of an incredible and beloved era. I used to love the Star Wars movies, but lost my enthusiasm for them – now, as the story comes to an end, my passion for this brilliant universe has been renewed. Maybe I’ll even get around to watching The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi sometime in between now and December, when The Rise of Skywalker will come out.

Trailer Rating: 9.5/10